I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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