I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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