dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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