Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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