I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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