At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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