Will you blow on my dice?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
