so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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