I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
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He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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