So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
