I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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