Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
