It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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