I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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