does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize