Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
