butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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