It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
