Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
