he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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