My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
