is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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