If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize