Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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