my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
