I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
