FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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