His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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