you suck at this game today
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.