the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.