Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.