i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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