who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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