Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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