I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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