my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
