Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize