some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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