I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I think your dad took our porno
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
