Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
