He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize