did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
