i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
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you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
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You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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