Already got asked if we're dating
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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