Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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