it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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