The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
