im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
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lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
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I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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