just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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