You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
where does the pee come out of this thing
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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