Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
