So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
