Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...

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  (970): i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it... http://tfl.nu/aspw
  Replies (4) Good night (449) Bad night (2709) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.

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  (336): well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you. http://tfl.nu/poyo
  Replies (12) Good night (2247) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.

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  (443): My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth. http://tfl.nu/a6mm
  Replies (36) Good night (2612) Bad night (998)
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  (+06): View more from

  it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..

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  (+06): it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever.. http://tfl.nu/huu2
  Replies (36) Good night (1053) Bad night (7311) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.

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  (209): Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work. http://tfl.nu/af2i
  Replies (5) Good night (3717) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either

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  (937): Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either http://tfl.nu/8shq
  Replies (27) Good night (841) Bad night (5125) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The Swedes wanted a tensome.

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  (832): The Swedes wanted a tensome. http://tfl.nu/8c8i
  Replies (19) Good night (5368) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.

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  (856): First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here. http://tfl.nu/4o4p
  Replies (4) Good night (1718) Bad night (1221) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag

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  (785): I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag http://tfl.nu/283w
  Replies (7) Good night (2483) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.

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  (940): Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected. http://tfl.nu/ylps
  Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.

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  (720): She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that. http://tfl.nu/2gzq
  Replies (15) Good night (356) Bad night (1480) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.

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  (317): I need to beat up a magician now. BRB. http://tfl.nu/9fa0
  Replies (12) Good night (1047) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"

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  (303): I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?" http://tfl.nu/z8zt
  Replies (2) Good night (1273) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)

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  (289): For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013) http://tfl.nu/5uly
  Replies (4) Good night (633) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Sure. But we have to be quiet.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Ninja mode activated

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  (775): Sure. But we have to be quiet. (1-775): Ninja mode activated http://tfl.nu/1wq1
  Replies (5) Good night (1067) Bad night (157) Order T-Shirt

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