trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
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I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...