I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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