Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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