Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize