dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
