your parents love me but you hate me
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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