You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize