I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
