What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think my moral compass just broke
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
