He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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