that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
