i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
