But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
